A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Elma is my mother-in-law’s part-time secretary. She has been a working student for almost three years now and she’s already on her fourth year in college. She came from a very poor family and her parents had no means of sending her to college. Even if the odd were against her, she still persevered because she wanted a better future for her family.
The fact that she’s juggling her time between her job and school doesn’t stop her from being good at what she does. I so admire her for being a very reliable and courteous employee at all times. She sustains her studies with her payday loans so she only so little to spare for her wants.. but she believes that everything is going to get better after she graduates college. :)
A random neighbor of ours knocked on our door at about 6 o’clock in the morning. She told me that she was scheduled to give birth in a few months and she really needs money. She asked us if we will be kind enough to lend her some. She promised to pay it in a few months time and with ten percent interest.
I was shocked by her boldness because I didn’t even know her first name. I only recognize her face every time she walks by the house. I told her that I didn’t have anything to offer her. It is true that I didn’t have money at that time and I won’t lend her even if I had.
I was concerned about the baby inside her but she was pretty scarly. The fact that she trespassed out gate to enter our compound was odd enough. I told her to get cash advance from somebody else.
I tried to access my Google Analytics account today and this is what I saw. A page full of tagalog words, sentences and paragraphs! Nosebleed!
That's just the log-in page. The homepage of my account made me dizzy. Words kinukumpirma, katayuan and magsalista bombarded my page. As my husband used to say, WTF???
For an unforgiving millisecond, I saw Regine Velasquez in a crying fit via the Totoy Bato television series. Ugh! It was painful to watch her fidget and do that body shaking thing for the sake of looking sad and helpless.
The fact that she reminded me of Michael Jackson after 20 surgeries didn't help my appetite either. Go easy on the plastic girl-- and please, stick to singing.
Francis Magalona is too young to die. He seems to be a good person and a good father. I just can't believe that someone as active and as healthy looking as him could succumb to such a dreadful disease. Ugh! It's scares me just thinking about it.
Why do terrible things have to happen to some good people? Why did he had to go this early? Why him? I guess asking too many questions will already mean questioning God and his motives. It's probably all for the best.
Oh, I worry about his eight children.
Daniel: So what's the problem, Sammy-o? Is it just Mum, or is it something else? Maybe... school - are you being bullied? Or is it something worse? Can you give me any clues at all?
Sam: You really want to know?
Daniel: I really want to know.
Sam: Even though you won't be able to do anything to help?
Daniel: Even if that's the case, yeah.
Sam: Okay. Well, the truth is... actually... I'm in love.
Sam: I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is, I'm in love and I was before she died, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Daniel: [laughs] Aren't you a bit young to be in love?
Daniel: Oh, well, okay... right. Well, I mean, I'm a little relieved.
Daniel: Well, because I thought it would be something worse.
Sam: [incredulous] Worse than the total agony of being in love?
Daniel: Oh. No, you're right. Yeah, total agony.
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